Life is a very interesting thing. Sometimes you’re convinced that something is the ultimate truth; there’s no other way about it. But you know what? Your ultimate truth is simply your perspective of something… neither more nor less.
Over the years, I have been trying harder and harder to remember that. I once learned that in life there are the things that happened and there are the things that I think happened. There are the things someone said and there are the things I think they meant to say. Sadly, getting rid of the habit of hanging on to my perception of things rather than looking at the actual events is not easy. It takes a lot of work, a lot of looking at myself and asking “is this what really happened or are you just freaking out?”
Sometimes, isolating yourself for a while helps deal with these questions. Perhaps a long walk far away, to a secluded place. Being one with yourself, thinking about your future, your plans, your fears.
It’s not easy. It’s not painless. But sometimes it needs to be done. See, growing up – particularly as a teenager, GOODNESS! – I used to hate it when I had a problem and it seemed like the biggest problem in the whole wide world… and someone came up to me and pointed out that there’s actually a massive number of people in the world with problems that are bigger than mine. “What does that have to do with it?” I would ask. That is THEIR problem, and this is MINE. It’s not a matter of which is bigger, it’s the fact that MINE is the one I have to deal with, not theirs.
In a way, I was right. My problem is not bigger or smaller than yours or anyone elses: it’s the one that affects me. And it’s the one I have to deal with, learn from and apply to my growth as a person.
In another, I was VERY wrong. I am immensely thankful that I have amazing parents. And I mean AMAZING! They are not perfect. But they do their best and I appreciate them for it. I’ve had an fantastic life so far. Not without its obstacles: I had a stroke at 22, I’m not recognised as a valid citizen in the place I feel is my home (and therefore I currently have no identity), I have not found myself professionally yet, I have no job or income. On the other hand, I do have a roof over my head, I have enough to afford food, which is more than a large percentage of the population can count on. I had the opportunity to fly across the ocean and actually FIND my home, where I met the person I love and made fabulous friends. If you’re living somewhere where you have no rights, where you’re persecuted just for having been born a woman/gay/anything else, where you’re hungry, you may look at me and my priviledged little blog and think: what the HELL are you complaining about?
And that’s when I say it again… perspective. Homelessness can mean so many things: I may not live in the street, but I’m not allowed to live where I consider my home. I can’t say which is worse, I can only judge the one that directly affects me. That goes for everything in life: work experiences, relationships, etc. Sometimes you don’t even have to think about the victims of poverty in Africa or Brazil to gain a little perspective… just look at your nearest and dearest.
My demons may not be bigger or smaller than the ones of my close ones. But theirs certainly make me think about my own in a different light. Do I want to pick a fight with someone because I’m irritable and in pain? Maybe they are too. Am I worried about money/health/family? Maybe they are too. It’s almost like looking through a window.
My problems are not bigger than anyone else’s, they’re just mine. That does not give me an excuse to lash out at others. It does not give me an excuse to be a complete idiot. But the sooner I understand them, the sooner I can come to terms with and fix them. And the same goes to you. Just think about it… and next time you think someone’s being a jerk to you, try to think about why they are acting that way. I’m certainly going to try that more often too.
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** OFFICIAL Site of Artist Ray Ferrer **
DAILY DISCUSSIONS. DAILY EXPERIENCES. DAILY LIFE.
Esse é mais um blog sobre comida!
me talking shite, as usual.
Ethereal ramblings of a pensive mind